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Entertainment Media Analysis Report
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(2004), PG-13 [R-13*]
Analysis Date
CAP Final Score
CAP Influence Density
December 29, 2004
26 out of 100

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Christian Long Distance

(This section may be and sometimes is somewhat subjective.)

If Scriptural references appear, the full text appears at the end of the Summary / Commentary likely using a mix of KJV and NIV.

(2004), PG-13 [R-13*] -- ... makes this report nearly as vulgar as the film ...

Cast/Crew Details Courtesy Internet Movie Database
Production (US): Miramax Films, Beverly Detroit, Close Call Films, View Askew Productions
Distribution (US): Miramax Films
Director(s): Kevin Smith
Producer(s): Phil Benson, Laura Greenlee, Laura Greenlee, Scott Mosier, Kevin Smith, Bob Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein
Written by: Kevin Smith
Cinematography/Camera: Vilmos Zsigmond
Music: James L. Venable, Robert Smith
Film Editing: Olof Källström, Scott Mosier, Kevin Smith
Casting: Diane Heery, Avy Kaufman
Production Design: Robert Holtzman
Art Direction: Elise G. Viola
Viewed on: Miramax DVD/BUena Vista Home Video

This is a special request analysis of a film the ministry could not afford to send me to last year but now that it is on video I was able to do so.

Jersey Girl is rated PG-13 on appeal due to "language and sexual content including frank dialogue." It was originally rated R. And still should be rated R. It is one of the most severe R-13 films of the more than 900 films we have analyzed. Though this analysis is almost eleven months after the film was released (we could not afford it at the theaters), this analysis is most useful for parents of kids who want to rent the video.

By the way, Kevin Smith who wrote and directed this film is also responsible for Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Chasing Amy. Though we have not analyzed Chasing Amy for what reason I cannot remember, I may do so just to provide a comparative of Smith's work. Just so you would know. And know objectively.

"PG-13 for frank dialogue" is putting it politely. I will, though doing so makes this report nearly as vulgar as the film, provide in the Findings/Scoring section the offensive dialogue I could catch just so you will have no doubts about the depth of verbal filth Kevin Smith went to in this film for young teens. A few of the lesser vulgar sexual comments are shown below. And these are Liv Taylor (Lord of the Rings) talking to Ben Affleck:

  • "An interesting porn film can be healthy as long as it's not habitual."
  • "You're renting it to masturbate to, right? If it makes you feel better I do it like twice a day."
  • [Affleck] "Where are we going?" ... "To your place. We're gonna have sex."
  • "I'm just talking about two consenting adults having casual sex. Probably some really short sex with you being a little out of practice."
  • "So, you'd rather hang out with your kid than get laid?"

    Jersey Girl is a romantic comedy about music publicist Oliver Trinke (Ben Affleck) finding the love of his life in Gertrude (Jennifer Lopez). Though both loved the city, Ollie felt it wise after a year of marriage for Gertrude to meet daddy, Bart Trinke (George Carlin) whose wife had died some years earlier and lived alone as the only one in the Borough of Highlands, New Jersey licensed to operate the street sweeper.

    The meeting went well as new age morality goes. Bart told Gertrude and Ollie "Stay offa my bed." To that Gertie replied "I was only going to sleep with [Ollie] a few more times then dump him." After a few more conversational locker room caliber snippets, Gertrude hit it off well with Bart. Bart told Ollie and Gertrude he was going to go to the Clamdigger bar. To that Gertrude told Bart "I wanna go to the bar, too" acting as though Ollie was the butler.

    Soon Gertrude and Ollie had a daughter they named Gertie (Raquel Castro). But Gertrude died giving birth to Gertie. Now the high-powered publicist, Ollie had to raise baby Gertie all by himself. So, Ollie moved back in with dad for some help with little Gertie.

    Back in the City, the pressures of fast-paced music publicity and trying to mix it all with Gertie, giving less and less attention to Gertie. Grandpa had told Ollie that he had to get back to work and that Ollie was going to take Gertie with him to the city this time. Grandpa drove the point home about whom is to provide primary care for Gertie.

    Not even yet knowing how to change a diaper since grandpa had been doing it until now, Ollie made quite a mess with the talcum powder not only on Gertie but on his nice dark suit as well ... moments before a key presentation to dozens of writers. That scene may sound like a chuckle-maker, especially for all the dads reading this, but Smith decided to use a real baby. A real nude baby. In several shots. While seeing a nude baby is an inevitable and necessary part of bringing up baby, this event was in and as entertainment. I really suspect the views could have been prepared more morally tasteful.

    Covered with talcum power, some ridicule from the pushy audience of writers was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Ollie lost it and shared with all the writers some quite unpleasant opinions of them and the rages for which they write. Ollie lost not only his temper that day, he lost his job. So, back to grandpa. For seven years Ollie and Gertie lived with grandpa.

    A few times each week Ollie would take Gertie to the video rental store. While Gertie rummaged through the kiddie section, Ollie would evaporate through the bamboo/bead curtain into the porn section, grab almost anything and s-l-i-d-e to the counter as clandestine as possible before Gertie arrived with her selection. Ollie had no girlfriends because of the deep love he still had for Gertrude.

    Entered the picture was Liv Taylor as 25 year old Maya Harding, local video store clerk working her way through college for a Master's degree. Her thesis was about men and pornography. With her stabbing questions such as "How many times each week do you masturbate" Maya found that Ollie had been celibate for seven years and offered him a "mercy jump", much like the "---, we're gonna have to give you one for free" prostitutes in Crocodile Dundee II and with the same disregard for morality.

    Arriving at grandpa's house to apologize for being so aggressive with Ollie at the video store, Maya invited Ollie out for a lunch date. After much resistance, Ollie finally agreed to meet with Maya by showing up after saying "No." It is at that lunch date when the conversation above took place. And the film went downhill sexually from there. Smith even involved Raquel in the sexually immoral programming by having her and a neighbor boy showing each other their privates, then she later asking her father whether his was bigger than the boy's. I wonder if anyone remembers me telling you all that a child viewing nudity on screen will get that child to thinking about how YOU, mom/dad, look with no clothes. Now are shown that even filmmakers know this. As I said, sexually downhill form there.

    I wonder if Smith, Affleck, J. Lo and others are aware of the consequences of teaching sexually immoral matters to little ones by example. God has warned us all that these little children have angels who always behold His face. [Matt. 18:10] When little Raquel relives in her memory the sins the filmmakers placed her in, would God be smiling upon them? I wonder what Raquel's angels said to God about Smith, Affleck, etc.?

    There is a generous helping of morally acceptable and heart-warming programming in Jersey Girl but it is buried under plentiful episodes of sexually immoral matters [1Cor. 6:9, Eph. 5:5], foul language [Col. 3:8] (some by a child and some before a child [Luke 17:2]) plus many other instances of impudence/hate, smoking, drinking, drug references and many uses of God's name in vain [Deut 5:11], even by a child with the father's approval [Matt 25:40].

    Understanding that this is a very vulgar film, please inspect closely the listing in the Findings/Scoring section before deciding whether to watch this hardcore R-13 movie. If you don't study the list before you decide whether to allow your youths to watch this film, they will ... in larger-than-life bold demonstration and megawatts of audio power and an extremely difficult to defeat amoral attitude which will likely to some degree secretly slip into your child's mind and heart. [Jude 4]


    If needed to focus or fortify, applicable text is underlined or bracketed [ ] or bold. If you wish to have full context available, the Blue Letter Bible is a convenient source. If you use the Blue Letter Bible, a new window will open. Close it to return here or use "Window" in your browser's menu bar to alternate between the CAP page and the Blue Letter Bible page.


  • Matt. 18:10 Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven. ["Despise" is kataphroneo {kat-af-ron-eh'-o}: 1) to condemn, despise, disdain, think little or nothing of, to look down upon (which includes abuse, even by influence)]
  • 1Cor. 6:9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the [unforgiven] sexually immoral nor ...
  • Eph. 5:5 For of this you can be sure: No [unforgiven] immoral, impure or greedy person -such a man is an idolater -has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
  • Col. 3:8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
  • Deut. 5:11 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain: for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. [Vain is shav' {shawv}: emptiness, nothingness, vanity, such as an expletive. With or without the four letter expletive, the use of God's name in any way other than respect, reverence or thoughtful discussion is in vain. That includes the popular three syllable sentence with His name trailing it AND the misuse of Jesus' name.]

    ***Selected Scriptures of Armour against the influence of the entertainment industry***
  • Ps. 12:8 The wicked freely strut about [e.g., create progressively vile/offensive entertainment with impunity and no consequences and present it to younger and younger audiences every year] when what is vile is honored among men [when enough people continue to defend it, embrace it, pay for it, enjoy it, want it, excuse it, submit to it. I call attention to Ps. 12:8 to warn of the creeping desensitizing power of "entertainment."]
  • Col. 2:8 Beware lest any man [by his influence] spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
  • 1 Cor. 15:33 (KJV) Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. (NIV) Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.
  • Rom. 5:19 For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.
  • Jude 4 For certain men* whose condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are godless men, who change [warp, distort, falsely represent, situationally redefine, counterfeit, conditionally apply] the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord. [*men: anthropos {anth'-ro-pos}, generic, a human being, whether male or female]
  • Matt. 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto [or for] one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto [or for] me.
  • Luke 17:2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. [cause by teaching or example]
  • Ps. 119:133 Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.
  • John 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.
  • 1 Thess. 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.


    As always, it is best to refer to the Findings/Scoring section -- the heart of the CAP analysis model -- for the most complete assessment possible of this movie.
    (The heart of the CAP Analysis Model)

    Jersey Girl (2004) CAP Thermometers

    Wanton Violence/Crime (W)
  • combativeness in the emergency room toward those not to blame
  • dead at giving birth
  • physical strike at doctor with the news of wife's death
  • reckless endangerment of infant in traffic
  • "If you're gonna steal something, steal the rubber gloves."

    Impudence/Hate (I)
  • 50 uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary, some before a child
  • one use of the most foul of the foul words
  • marital argument
  • equating sexploitation in music with artistic expression
  • detailed portrayal of childbirth
  • neglect of infant, placing work ahead of infant
  • son using father to care for son's infant child, repeatedly
  • father calling son foul names, repeatedly
  • public school invading home by having children write about their families
  • wishing for death
  • child knowing about *Dirty Dancing*
  • Child: "Those [children's] movies ----!" Father: "Watch your language."
  • lies to cover immoral behaviors
  • adolescent daughter opening shower curtain knowing her father was in it
  • child extorting father to get access to R-rated movies and to do a school play with an adult theme
  • adult woman encouraging a child not hers to take inappropriate movie
  • anatomical reference before a child
  • child arrogance at father, repeatedly
  • "I hate you. ... I HATE you." at father
  • cursing at daughter
  • father yelling at daughter
  • portrayal of child on same level as father
  • masked foul word by a child
  • lie by a child

    Sexual Immorality (S)
  • "I don't want no whores in my house." father to son
  • adolescents exposing themselves to each other then daughter to father: "Do you have what Brian has? ... Is yours as big as his?"
  • renting pornography, repeatedly
  • child lifting dress when rising from commode
  • long discussion about renting adult/porn videos and why
  • "An interesting porn movie can be healthy as long as it is not habitual."
  • "You're renting [porn] to masturbate to it, right?"
  • "If it makes you feel any better I do it like twice a day."
  • "I just have a healthy sexual appetite." ... "Why don't you just go out and get you a boyfriend?" ... "Why don't YOU just go out and get you a girlfriend?" as if sex outside of a monogamous heterosexual marriage is morally acceptable
  • "So, you'd rather hang out with your kid than get [immoral sex]?"
  • "When was the last time you had sex?" ... "Seven years. It's okay. It's fine" ... "NO, it's NOT. Not at all."
  • lie to child about parent's sexual behaviors
  • arguing with a man that he needs to go out and [have immoral sex]
  • "Where are we going?" ... "To your place. We're gonna have sex."
  • "Probably some really short sex with you being a little out of practice."
  • "Let's look at this logically. You rent porn and touch yourself right."
  • "Come on, stud. No man can live on porn alone."
  • frenzied make out
  • co-stripping to underwear
  • adults in underwear
  • young girl setting on commode while father and prostitute hide in shower
  • "I [had immoral sex with] a broad in my parents' bed once. It was nice."
  • discussion of sexually immoral activities between four men
  • "Just as long as you didn't do it in my bed." grandpa to son
  • "I was just going to give you a mercy jump. The moment passed. It;s no big deal."
  • anatomical reference
  • intimate infant nudity, repeatedly

    Drugs/Alcohol (D):
  • party drinking
  • "I wanna go to the bar."
  • "I wanna go to the bar, too."
  • child reference to father using illegal drugs
  • additional reference to illegal drug use
  • smoking, repeatedly
  • additional drinking, repeatedly
  • booze in child's play
  • child in bar
  • booze, repeatedly

    Offense to God (O)
  • 35 uses of God's name in vain without the four letter expletive, some by a child with father's approval, and 4 with it

    Murder/Suicide (M)
  • stage murder by cutting man's throat, twice, once in a child's play

  • Christian Long Distance



    There are some in the entertainment industry who maintain that 1) violent programming is harmless because no studies exist that prove a connection between violent entertainment and aggressive behavior in children, and 2) young people know that television, movies, and video games are simply fantasy. Unfortunately, they are wrong on both accounts." And "Viewing violence may lead to real life violence." I applaud these associations for fortifying 1 Cor. 15:33. Read the rest of the story. From our more than eight years of study, I contend that other aberrant behaviors, attitudes, and expressions can be inserted in place of "violence" in that statement. Our Director - Child Psychology Support, a licensed psychologist and certified school psychologist concurs. For example, "Viewing arrogance against fair authority may lead to your kids defying you in real life." Or "Viewing sex may lead to sex in real life." Likewise and especially with impudence, hate and foul language. I further contend that any positive behavior can be inserted in place of "violence" with the same chance or likelihood of being a behavior template for the observer; of being incorporated into the behavior mechanics and/or coping skills of the observer. In choosing your entertainment, please consider carefully the "rest of the story" and our findings.

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