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ChildCare Action Project:
Christian Analysis of American Culture (CAP Ministry)
Entertainment Media Analysis Report
A service to His little ones (which includes at-home teens) through you, their parents and grandparents, in His name by His Word

(2004), R
Plus comparative

Analysis Date
CAP Final Score
CAP Influence Density
February 22, 2004
58 out of 100

By popular demand, my pict will be here for a while then moved to the end of the report pages.

Written/Prepared by:

T. Carder

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If Scriptural references appear, the full text appears at the end of the Summary / Commentary likely using a mix of KJV and NIV.

(2004), PG -- ... little more than 84 minutes of what is sometimes called "advertising"
Plus comparative

Cast/Crew Details Courtesy Internet Movie Database
Production (US): Confessions Productions, Touchstone Pictures, Walt Disney Pictures
Distribution (US): Buena Vista Pictures
Director(s): Sara Sugarman
Producer(s): Mathew Hart, Jerry Leider, Robert Shapiro
Written by: Dyan Sheldon (book)
Screenplay: Gail Parent
Cinematography/Camera: Stephen H. Burum
Music: Mark Mothersbaugh
Film Editing: Anita Brandt-Burgoyne
Casting: Robin D. Cook, Donna Morong, Marcia Ross
Production Design: Leslie McDonald
Art Direction: Dennis Davenport
Viewed At: Driftwood Theater 6

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is a perfect example of PG going PG-13 ... a "13-PG." Meaning, that which has happened and is happening to PG-13s (see is happening to PGs if this PG is any indicator. And it is happening ever so quietly and subtly. Just look at the CAP thermometers. They reveal at a glance what the entertainment industry believes our tweenagers want in their entertainment, which in turn plants what they want. Quite revealing isn't it? Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is heavy in impudence and sexual arrogance, little more than a long string of lying and dressing to maximize the teenage form and/or skin exposure. God is very serious about lying and sexual immorality [Rev. 21:8].

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is rated PG for "mild thematic elements and brief language." Let's see. the-mat-ic. adj. 1. of or pertaining to a theme. Do tell. It is a theme of teenage rebellion against fair authority which, by the way, is portrayed as idiocy and slavery, and a co-theme of sexual expression. In one instance, on a stage during a musical/dance rehearsal, of all the kids dancing, I think Lohan was the only one who had almost all of her legs showing. The rest apparently had pants or other full-length dress of some kind.

If we had the money I would run a trend of the scores earned by PG movies from 1995 to now and if I were a betting man I would bet the same has happened to PG that has happened to PG-13. And to G. Only money will tell. Ain't that the pits? Something as significant as this depending on something as petty as money. Oh, well. That's life.

Remember Life-Size (2000, TV-G), a "PG-G" with Lindsay Lohan as 11 year old football center Casey Stewart? And Freaky Friday (2003, PG), a 13-PG with Lohan "all growed up" as 15 year old Annabelle? Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, another "13-PG", presents Lohan again as an all "growed up" 15 year old teenager with all the trimmings of "teenager." At least, what Hollywood apparently thinks of a "teenager."

It is harsh what four years will do to a child. The following comparative collage will help you visualize that. Note in particular the positions of the "mercury " in the Impudence/Hate, Sexual Immorality and Drugs/Alcohol thermometers as the year progresses. The same model was used in the same way using the same computer applications even by the same investigator.

Not only can the CAP analysis model macroscopically reveal and track the relative position and movement of morality of movies in general and microscopically in subsets of movies with sequels, it can track the same in subsets of movies in which a specific actor/actress plays, subsets of all movies for a specific director, producer, etc. This analysis model is more versatile than even I expected. That makes Perfect sense since, in spite of the fact that I am the engineer of it, Jesus is its Designer.

Horrified and bewildered 15 year old Mary Elizabeth Cep (Lindsay Lohan) was forced to leave Manhattan of New York City to move to the edge of the earth, Dellwood, New Jersey with her mother, Karen (Glenne Headly) and two sisters. Without dad, of course.

What is a seasoned and socially wise Manhattanite to do in "Deadwood, New Jersey?" Change her name? Sounds good to Mary. Lola. She felt like a Lola. So she became Lola. But she still felt like a "flamingo in a flock of pigeons."

The first local girl Lola took up with at "Deadwood" High School was Ella (Alison Pill), a responsible young lady with scruples -- in the beginning anyway. Ella was obviously cast as the undesirable girl but a common infatuation with members of the Sidarthur band sealed a bond between the two girls.

Soon, Lola met the class witch, Carla (Megan Fox). Immediately Carla set out to ensure Lola knew she was beneath Carla. Social warfare began and didn't end until Lola beat Carla for the social badge lead part, Eliza Doolittle in an adaptation of Pygmalion, adapted by drama teacher Miss Baggoli (Carol Kane) who was quite possibly more entertaining due to her versatility than the rest of the cast.

Amidst the battle for Eliza in Pygmalion came the battle for the best showing at the final concert of rock band Sidarthur and invitation to the after show party at the crib of the lead singer, Stu Wolff (Adam Garcia) back in New York.

And, of course, the plot had a gaggle of young teenage girls traipsing around New York unsupervised. Lola lied through her teeth to get what she wanted and where she wanted to go, especially to the concert and party. Lola lied not only to mom and other kids' mom's but to Ella who is so troubled with Lola trying to get her to lie that she breaks down in tears at the thought of it. Of course #2, the plot had Ella eventually thanking Lola for teaching her to lie and sneak -- to "be herself" -- with a long discourse on how terrible she now realized it was to have suffered honesty and wholesomeness for so long. This is another example of the "you'll thank me when you're older" syndrome I first heard in the movies from the young son to the younger son in Mrs. Doubtfire.

While the show was little more than 84 minutes of what is sometimes called "advertising" (specifically, wearing very short dresses, finding out how much belly skin can be shown without showing that which anatomically follows, showing how much cleavage one has, seeing how tight tops can be on teenage girls) and of lying [again Rev. 21:8], there was not one use of the three/four letter word vocabulary or the most foul of the foul words noted. There was no nudity, in the strictest sense of the word anyway, but there were several uses of God's name in vain without the four letter expletive -- all by a teen, of course #3 [Deut. 5:11].

And there is theft of school property by breaking and entering as one of Lola's teenage friends, Sam (Eli Marienthal) steals the key formal dress of the Pygmalion play so Lola can have something fancy to wear to the Sidarthur concert then the party. In the final dance of the show in the final few frames, Garcia slid the thumb of his left hand toward himself along the side of Lohan's right breast. If some of you think that is quite acceptable since they are dressed and all, how would you dads (for the lack of a better expression) feel about it if it was your 15 year old daughter on the dance floor with an adult male and his hand on her in that manner? This tweenage show was predictable, of course. I get so fed up with Hollywood shaping the morals and ethics of our kids with this stuff.

Please take a good look also at the listing in the Findings/Scoring section (the heart of the CAP analysis model) before you decide whether to drop off your girls to watch this film.

SPECIAL NOTE: We will be reducing the volume of coverage in the Summary/Commentary section of our reports and the number of reports generated in an effort to reduce costs until full funding can be achieved. The Findings/Scoring section of each report, the heart of the analysis model, will NOT be reduced in any way.

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If needed to focus or fortify, applicable text is underlined or bracketed [ ]. If you wish to have full context available, the Blue Letter Bible is a convenient source. If you use the Blue Letter Bible, a new window will open. Close it to return here or use "Window" in your browser's menu bar to alternate between the CAP page and the Blue Letter Bible page.

  • Rev. 21:8 Rev. 21:8 But the [unforgiven] cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral [which includes flaunting it], those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars -their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.
  • Deut. 5:11 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain: for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. [Vain is shav' {shawv}: emptiness, nothingness, vanity, such as an expletive. With or without the four letter expletive, the use of God's name in any way other than respect, reverence or thoughtful discussion is in vain. That includes the popular three syllable sentence with His name trailing it AND the misuse of Jesus' name.]

    ***Selected Scriptures of Armour against the influence of the entertainment industry***
  • Ps. 12:8 The wicked freely strut about [e.g., create progressively vile/offensive entertainment with impunity and no consequences and present it to younger and younger audiences every year] when what is vile is honored among men [when enough people continue to defend it, embrace it, pay for it, enjoy it, want it, submit to it. I call attention to Ps. 12:8 to warn of the creeping desensitizing power of "entertainment."]
  • Col. 2:8 Beware lest any man [by his influence] spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
  • 1 Cor. 15:33 (KJV) Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. (NIV) Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.
  • Rom. 5:19 For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.
  • Jude 4 For certain men* whose condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are godless men, who change [warp, distort, falsely represent, situationally redefine, counterfeit, conditionally apply] the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord. [*men: anthropos {anth'-ro-pos}, generic, a human being, whether male or female]
  • Matt. 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto [or for] one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto [or for] me.
  • Luke 17:2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. [cause by teaching or example]
  • Ps. 119:133 Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.
  • John 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.
  • 1 Thess. 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.


    As always, it is best to refer to the Findings/Scoring section -- the heart of the CAP analysis model -- for the most complete assessment possible of this movie.

    Confessions of  Teenage Drama Queen (2004) CAP Thermometers

    Wanton Violence/Crime (W)
  • a body part after a vehicular wreck
  • breaking and entering
  • theft of school property

    Impudence/Hate (I)
  • a presence of the "It ain't good enough, no matter what 'it' is" attitude throughout
  • lies, many, frequently with rationalizations to lie
  • social warfare, repeatedly
  • planning to usurp parental authority, repeatedly
  • father calling very skimpy dress on teenage daughter "beautiful"
  • two 15 year olds alone in downtown NYC
  • brief punk
  • "So I exaggerated a little" to excuse lies.
  • many additional attempts to excuse lying
  • treating rebellion as "wonderful"

    Sexual Immorality (S)
  • dressing to maximize the female and male forms and/or skin exposure, repeatedly and frequent
  • camera angle to force viewer on to private parts
  • female staring at male posterior
  • below navel skin, repeatedly
  • excessive cleavage, teen, repeatedly
  • inappropriate touch

    Drugs/Alcohol (D):
  • drinking, repeatedly
  • drunkenness, repeatedly

    Offense to God (O)
  • five uses of God's name in vain without the four letter expletive by a teen
  • "AUM" meditation

    Murder/Suicide (M)
  • none noted

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    There are some in the entertainment industry who maintain that 1) violent programming is harmless because no studies exist that prove a connection between violent entertainment and aggressive behavior in children, and 2) young people know that television, movies, and video games are simply fantasy. Unfortunately, they are wrong on both accounts." And "Viewing violence may lead to real life violence." I applaud these associations for fortifying 1 Cor. 15:33. Read the rest of the story. From our more than eight years of study, I contend that other aberrant behaviors, attitudes, and expressions can be inserted in place of "violence" in that statement. Our Director - Child Psychology Support, a licensed psychologist and certified school psychologist concurs. For example, "Viewing arrogance against fair authority may lead to your kids defying you in real life." Or "Viewing sex may lead to sex in real life." Likewise and especially with impudence, hate and foul language. I further contend that any positive behavior can be inserted in place of "violence" with the same chance or likelihood of being a behavior template for the observer; of being incorporated into the behavior mechanics and/or coping skills of the observer. In choosing your entertainment, please consider carefully the "rest of the story" and our findings.

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    Thomas A. Carder
    ChildCare Action Project (CAP): Christian Analysis of American Culture

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