| Below the Beltway By Gene Weingarten Sunday, November 16, 2003; Page W03 I was never particularly concerned about monitoring what my children saw at the movies, and I think they've turned out pretty well, thank you very much. You don't have to take my word for it, you can ask their parole officers. Still, as this week's excellent cover story demonstrates, movie content is a serious and complicated issue for parents. Fortunately, there is help out there. Www.capalert.com is an earnest, family-oriented, religiously themed Web site that elaborately reviews and grades popular films. It gives each a red light (serious "assaults on morality and decency"), a yellow warning light, or a good-to-go green. There are very, very few greens. Capalert claims 4 million visitors since it started in 2000. The reviews are written by its president, Thomas A. Carder, a Texan who sees his site as a ministry and who at first declined to be interviewed in the vulgar context of a humor column. Then I informed him that 3 million people might read this, at which point he decided that humor was perhaps an ideal vehicle to discuss satanic influences in modern culture. Tom relies on contributions. Me: Do you think that you are a prude? Tom: Most certainly not. Me: You object to scenes with nude statuary. You gave "Pokemon the First Movie" a red light. Also, "Inspector Gadget." You seem to have very tough standards. Tom: I don't "give" movies a red light. They earn them. And they're not my standards, they're God's standards. |
Me: In your review of "Toy Story 2," which earned itself a yellow light, you criticized a scene because it showed Barbie dolls dancing in bathing suits and "Mr. Potato Head and others ogle at them with a sensual presence." Tom: Lusting after the female body is sexual immorality. Me: With "Stuart Little 2" you complain that there is repeated talk of being eaten and then becoming "poop." My question is, isn't this funny? Just a little? Tom: No. It is just an example of Hollywood's fascination with bodily exudates. Me: You give a yellow light to "It's a Wonderful Life," citing that scene where an embarrassed Donna Reed is hiding naked behind a hydrangea bush. You call it "a sexually suggestive episode of unseen indecent exposure." My question is, what is "unseen indecent exposure"? Aren't we all guilty of unseen indecent exposure when we are naked under our clothes? Aren't you guilty of that now, at this very moment? Tom: I'm not displaying it. I'm not calling attention to sexual matters. Me: Your reviews tally the use of "the most foul of the foul words." I am guessing you mean the f-word? Tom: I will not explain it to you even by abbreviation because if I do, the word will form in your mind and I would be as guilty of using that word as those who do. Me: In reviewing more than 700 movies, you found only one that got a hundred percent, green-light score. It was called "Who Gets the House?" You pointed out it had no sex or violence or drugs or tobacco or alcohol, no impudence by children, etc. |
Tom: Yes, it was a good family film. Me: You also pointed out you were the only person in the theater. Tom: Yes. Me: Did you read any of the reviews of this movie? Here are excerpts from the Deseret News: "Unfunny, forced humor," "insipid jokes," "contrived situations that would not work in a 30-minute sitcom . . ." Here's another review: "I can't imagine any adult who has ever seen a movie before even sitting through the whole thing comfortably, let alone liking it." Tom: These people must like the R-rated movies. Me: That last one was from a Mormon newsletter. But that raises a question: In addition to PG-13, you also review R-rated movies, at great length, enumerating all the abominations in them. Why bother? We know you'll hate them. Tom: The Apostle Paul did not avoid the extremes of sin as he took the Gospel to the then-sin capital of the word, Corinth, Greece. How could I justify avoiding the extremes? Me: In your review of "Freaky Friday" you complain about "belly skin with the top of girls' underwear showing," a device that films use "to point attention to or tease about what follows, anatomically speaking." With "Babe: Pig in the City" you decry "women skating around in thong bikinis . . . with the sides of their breasts and much of the buttocks hanging out." My question is: You like your job, don't you? Tom: Yes, I do. I enjoy giving information to mom and dad so they can make an informed moral decision. |
 |
H R O U G H |
O R B Y |
(Prefered - no service charges) CAP Ministry PO Box 177 Granbury, TX 76048-0177 A nonprofit 501(c)(3) Christian Ministry. TIN: 75-2607488 |