ChildCare Action Project:
Christian Analysis of American Culture (CAP)







Thomas A. Carder
CAP President
with help from Barb Carder, Peggie Bohanon, and Pastor Bryan Crute.




Kids:

You really oughta ask mom or dad to read this lesson with you. It has some really important stuff. If they read it with you they can learn, too!

The large letter words in blue are for YOU. The small letter words in black are for mom or dad. You are welcome to read the small letter words if you want to, but you might not know what the words say.

Mom/Dad:

This lesson is about a sensitive subject. It presents an action plan for your child(ren) to recognize and prevent molestation. Reports abound of children who grow up with a secret of molestation buried deeply, then suffering terribly as the secret erodes their self-esteem and coping skills. Note that statistics show that most instances of reported child molestation are done by someone the children know and are supposed to trust; a relative, a friend of the family, a frequent visitor, youth organization representatives, and so on. It is up to you whether you want your children to know about this matter. There is nothing obscene, vulgar, or anatomically revealing about this material. It provides you a way to present the subject in a structured and gentle manner.

My specification of private zones adjacent to the gender-specific organs generalized in the pictures that follow is arbitrary, guided of course by what I feel the Holy Scriptures dictate. If someone were to affectionately touch your child in the shaded areas adjacent to the gender-specific organs, I feel you should question the motives of the perpetrator. Likewise, I feel you should question the motives of someone who allows or coerces your child to affectionately touch them in the same areas.

The first time your child reads this lesson, read the lesson with him/her one paragraph at a time. Discuss each paragraph to determine whether your child understands the material. Some areas are abstract and may require your maturity to guide attention and learning. To maximize absorption and retention, control the scrolling. And when the lesson directs the child to speak, let him/her do so in the way the lesson suggests. While the target age group is from the age kids can understand what you read to them to early and mid-elementary age, the principles discussed apply to any age.

If you have questions about the lesson, feel free to email me at cap@capalert.com. You are welcome to copy this lesson. We hope that you will include copyright information and will consider offering us a gift of financial support to offset the cost of providing this service. Information on where to send gifts is provided at the end of this lesson.



PREFACE

Some adults and even other kids might try to touch you in a bad way on your private places. This lesson will help you know what to do if someone tries to touch you in the private places. It will also tell you that it is not your fault if someone touches your private places. This lesson will also tell you that it is okay to say "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!!" To get off to a great start, go ahead and say it now -- DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!!


INTRODUCTION

Some people do bad things. They like to touch kids in a bad way. It is okay to hold hands with someone. It is okay to hug each other. It is even okay to snuggle with somebody you love. But it is not okay for anyone to touch you on the private places!

This lesson will answer:

• What Are Private Places?
  
  
• Where Are My Private Places?
  
  
• What Do You Mean "Touch?"
  
  
• Is Touching My Private Places Ever Okay?
  
  
• What Should I Do If Someone Tries To Touch My Private Places in a Bad Way?
  
  

What Are Private Places

Private places on your body are the places which God covered on Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. They are places that God does not want others to touch.


Where Are My Private Places?

Some people say that private places are the places covered by a bathing suit. It is not that simple. There are places on your body not covered by bathing suits that other people should not touch.

Private places are different between boys and girls. Let me use pictures to help you understand where the private places are.

For a girl, private places should be the areas under the yellow shaded boxes in the picture to the left. Above the elbows to the shoulders in front and the sides. Below the waist above the knees in front and back and all sides.

For a boy, private places should be the areas under the yellow shaded box in the picture to the right. Below the waist above the knees in front and back and all sides.

What Do You Mean "Touch?"

Touch can mean many things. In this lesson "touch" means a part of someone's body coming in contact with your body. Touching can be done with any part of the body, for example the hands, the feet, the knee, even the elbow.

If someone on purpose makes part of his or her body touch your private places, it is touching you in a bad way!


Is Touching My Private Places Ever Okay?

This part of the lesson can be really hard to understand, so be sure to get mom or dad to help you with it.

Sometimes you may get hurt or sick in your private places. Mom or dad may need to see or touch the hurt or sick place to see if you need to go to a doctor.

Sometimes a doctor in his office may need to see or touch your private places.

But NEVER is it okay for ANYONE -- ANYONE to see or touch your private places unless mom or dad says it is okay BEFORE the seeing or touching happens!

It is not okay for anyone to touch you on the private places when you are snuggling with them or when hugging them!!! It is not okay okay for Mr. Neighbor to pat you on your bottom. It is not okay for Ms. Friendly to put her hand on your thigh. It is not okay for anyone at school to be cuddly or curious with your private places. It is not okay for the school nurse or doctor to see or touch your private places without mom/dad's permission except when you need emergency medical help. And it is not okay for anyone to ask you to touch their private places. There are many other ways of being touched in a bad way. Ask your mom and dad about them.

REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL IMPORTANT Just because you see people on TV and in the movies touching other people's private places does not mean it is okay!!!

What Should I Do If Someone Tries To Touch My Private Places in a Bad Way?

SHOUT LOUDLY DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!! Scream it if you have to then run away to another adult as fast as you can. If someone touches you in a bad way, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! There is no reason you should feel bad or guilty if someone touches you in a bad way!!!

If someone touches your private places on purpose, tell mom or dad! The police should be told, too. Don't be afraid of getting the bad people in trouble. They need help. If you don't tell, they might not get help. Even worse, they may keep doing the bad things with more and more kids.

Please, remember kids. If someone wrongly touches you on the private places, you have done nothing wrong. And remember you have the right to tell them DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!! Go ahead. Say it out loud...DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!! Say it one more time...DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!!

Mom/Dad: I will forward any reports I receive of sexual abuse to the police.

The effectiveness of this lesson for kids is entirely dependent upon you. Ask Jesus to guide you in your relationship with your children. They must trust you to be able to tell you that they are being or have been abused. God can restore loss of trust. Ask Him. He will answer.

Our heavenly Father. Creator of man and the universe. Great and wise art thou. We ask that you work your Perfect Will in our lives. Lead us, Father, in the path away from temptation and unto you. Give us the wisdom to know what we must do and the way to do it best to protect our children and to heal our children of the emotional, spiritual, and physical injury caused by abuse.

In the name of Jesus: Lord, Master, Teacher, Savior, God.



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Since December 5, 2000
     

Copyright ChildCare Action Project (CAP) Ministry, www.capalert.com, cap@capalert.com, 1996